I am sure that it gets old to hear me talk about how much I love my boys. Well, I can't help it. I feel so blessed to have these guys in my life. I have a guy that loves to play with his sons. I have 2 sons who are happy and healthy.
You know, for a lot of my "adult" life (ok, I'm counting since I was about 15) I thought that I was going to have 5 kids. I always wanted to birth one, but have 5. Adoption has often weighted heavy on my heart. Well, 2 kids later, it is obvious that my "birth one" thought has gone straight out the window. And my thoughts on adoption haven't changed either. But, a new feeling has crept in. Yes, a surprising feeling has entered my heart.
Contentment. I am content. I love the thought of having 2 boys. When I see them playing together or watch Jason holding them, my mind flashes forward 15 years and I can see the same scene, only aged--I am so happy to just have these 2 boys.
Is this making any sense? Do you feel like your life is complete? I never would have imagined that having 2 kids would do the trick. It is almost as if I don't even have words to explain it. (it doesn't help at all that I'm trying to write these complex thoughts and watch a totally engaging show at the same time) But honestly, even 5 years ago I would have told you that I wanted 5 kids. I love kids, I want a whole sports team of them. But now, now that I have these two little bodies that I can love and hold and witness grow, I am unexplainably content.
Alright, I am done rambling about these things I am feeling. But, just in case you've missed it, here it is one more time: I just love these guys--all 3 of them!!